


Piece by piece

by smkkbert



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Delicity, F/M, Felicity Smoak centric, olicity - Freeform, song prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6527692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smkkbert/pseuds/smkkbert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>@felicity-said-yes said: Oh my god Kathi, have you heard Piece by Piece by Kelly Clarkson?? It gives me all the Olicity and Papa Smoak feels. Maybe you could use it as a prompt?? I don’t know if you take song prompts, but oh my god I kind of need it! </p><p>(Tumblr prompt this was inspired by)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Piece by piece

**Author's Note:**

  * For [monstarrmann](https://archiveofourown.org/users/monstarrmann/gifts).



Sitting in the quiet darkness of her living room in the middle of the night, she stared into the empty space and tried to get that song that had haunted her all day and had made it impossible to fall asleep out of his mind.

She had been driving home from work, going through ideas of how to spend the evening when the song had started playing on the radio. At first she hadn’t even realized, but then it had hit her, and the memories that had snuck into her mind had hit her unprepared. Actually they had hit her so unprepared that she had been forced to pull over, stop the car and collect her thoughts enough until she had been able to drive the rest of the way home where she had immediately gone to bed and tried to force her thoughts to shut up without any success.

So she had come down here, made herself a mug of warm milk like her mom had always done for her when she had been a child and now tried to talk herself into calming down. After all it was just a stupid song! A stupid song with a melody that she just couldn’t get out of her mind and lyrics that hit so close to home for her that she could remember every single word though she had only heard the song once! But still it was just a song!

 _And all I remember is your back_  
_Walking towards the airport_  
_Leaving us all in your past_  
_I traveled fifteen hundred miles to see you_  
_Begged you to want me_  
_But you didn't want to_

A cold shiver ran down her spine, eliciting goose bumps all over her skin at the memories the words had woken in her. Images of what had happened years, decades!, ago were still flashing through her mind, making her body tremble slightly.

Her father had left her. He had left her, and she had begged him to stay and asked him to come back, but he had still left and not come back.

Felicity didn’t think that he had ever understood what he had done to her by leaving. It wasn’t like you just grew up as a normal child with a single mother when your dad suddenly left you one day without any warning. No, you grew up as a child who spent each and every day wondering what you had done that your dad had left you and what was so wrong with you that not even your own parent loved you.

And when he didn’t love you, how was anyone else supposed to?

She remembered how even moths after he had left she had been lying awake in bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering why he had left and where he had been. The worst thought had always been that he had replaced them; that he had found a new wife and they had gotten more children, and they were living their picture perfect life, while he had forgotten all about Donna and her.

Being replaced. It had always been one of her worst fears because what worse thing was there than to realize that anyone could take your place because there was just nothing special about you, and there would always be someone to outdo you? Someone who would be better? Someone who would be worth the love you haven’t been worth of?

_But piece by piece, he collected me_  
_Up off the ground but you abandoned things_  
_And piece by piece, he filled the holes_  
_That you burned in me at six years old_

_And no, he never walks away_  
_He never asks for money_  
_He takes care of me_  
_He loves me_

_Piece by piece, he restored my faith  
That a man can be kind and a father could stay_

Felicity couldn’t count the times she had felt afraid of being replaced – whether in her job or in a relationship or even a friendship.

The one that had probably hurt the worst had been her fear of being replaced on the team after Sara had come back from the dead for the… Felicity couldn’t even remember what time it had been because Sara had come back from the dead so often. She remembered how everything she had used to do had been taken away by Sara’s abilities, and how all she still had been able to do for the team she had failed at so miserably. At least that had been what it had felt like.

And she hadn’t even been able to blame Sara because Sara had been great. She had been a nice person who she just couldn’t hate.

John had been the first to recognize. He had included her, supported her, given her the feeling of being needed even it had been with small things. And he had been the first person ever to tell her that she was irreplaceable, just like he was probably the first man that had ever really made her question her own doubt in each and every man she met.

She remembered standing at the side of the bed where Lyla had been lying in and holding their newborn daughter, and Felicity remembered how she could have seen John in the role of a father perfectly. She had just known that Baby Sara would never have to deal with being left by her dad because John was not the person to leave his daughter willingly.

Just like he had never left her. He had always been there for Felicity. When things had been hard for her, he had tried to offer comfort, no matter how hopeless it had seemed. And he had taken her in on his family when Oliver had been forced to stay with the League. He had been, still was and would always be like the big brother she had always wished she would have.

If it hadn’t been for him, Felicity wasn’t sure if she would be where she was now. She didn’t know if she would have had enough self-esteem or whatever to tell her father off when he had come back and wanted to start a relationship with him.

_And all of your words fall flat_  
_I made something of myself_  
_And now you wanna come back_  
_But your love, it isn't free_  
_It has to be earned_  
_Back then I didn't have anything you needed_  
_So I was worthless_

God, how much she had wished that he had meant it when he had said that he wanted to really get to know her!

When her father had come back here two years ago and pretended to want a relationship with her, it had been hard. It had been hard to forget that he had left her because it had hurt her so badly and had had a major influence on her life and on the way she had thought about men, but then she had always wanted to get to know her dad, so rejecting him hadn’t been easy, either. So for a short moment she had let him in, hoping despite everything that he had changed and had really meant to fix what he had done to her when he had left her and her mom.

But of course she had been disappointed. He hadn’t changed because there were only few people that ever changed in their lives, and her father was definitely not one of them, nor would he ever be. Which was why when she had last seen him, he had been lead off in handcuffs by the police.

Well, now he was in prison where he had a lot of time to think about what he had done to her and her mom. But Felicity doubted that he spent a lot of thoughts on them. Luckily, she usually didn’t waste many thoughts on her father, either. He was in prison where he belonged. Felicity couldn’t be more grateful that Quentin had helped her making sure that the man who had lost the right to be her father a long time ago had gotten what he deserved for all the crimes he had done. And maybe also for leaving Donna and her.

_But piece by piece, he collected me_  
_Up off the ground but you abandoned things_  
_And piece by piece, he filled the holes_  
_That you burned in me at six years old_

_And no, he never walks away_  
_He never asks for money_  
_He takes care of me_  
_'Cause he loves me_

_Piece by piece, he restored my faith_  
_That a man can be kind and a father could stay_

Quentin was a good guy, more than a good guy actually. He was great. He was a great human being, a really caring boyfriend as Donna always emphasized and a loving father as Felicity now knew not only because she had seen him often with both of his daughters, but because she felt like she was his daughter, too.

She had always felt kind of close to him, even the one day he had questioned her about the Hood at the police station, she had liked him which was weird because he had also kind of frightened her. But she had just known that he was a good man with a good heart, someone who didn’t abandon his children willingly. And over the years she had grown to like him more and more, and now that he and Donna were married, he was just as much family to Felicity as Donna was.

Part of Felicity wished that Donna would have found him when she had been younger, so she would have never had to experience the pain of being left alone with a daughter she hadn’t had the money to give her everything she wanted for. And sometimes Felicity wondered how she would have grown up when Quentin had been her father.

But she knew it was just another stupid thought because Donna hadn’t met him earlier and she hadn’t grown up with Quentin as her father, and there was no alternative universe in which Laurel and Sara and she had all been born and lived happily as siblings and…

Felicity shook her head.

What mattered was that Quentin was part of her life now. He was her dad. Sometimes she even called him that because why not? In her heart she knew he was her dad. He was her dad, and he did all the things a dad was supposed to do. He supported her. He comforted her. He loved her. He had even walked her down the aisle, much to John’s disappointment.

 _Piece by piece..._  
_Piece by piece..._  
_Piece by piece..._  
_Piece by piece..._  
_Piece by piece..._  
_Piece by piece..._  
  
_Piece by piece I fell far from the tree_  
_I would never leave her like you left me_  
_She will never have to wonder her worth_  
_Because unlike you I'm gonna put her first_

Felicity stroked her hand over the bump slowly, following the baby’s kicking feet with her fingers. Lately the little girl was very active, especially during the nightly hours. She could only hope that her daughter would be less of a night hawk once she was born, Felicity thought with a smile, because she wasn’t sure whether she would be able to keep up with her daughter’s active hours for much longer.

Tonight she seemed to be even more active than usually. It was probably the chaos in her mother’s mind that kept the unborn baby awake because how would she be able to sleep when her mother thought about being left and replaced and unloved?

“Don’t worry, baby,” she whispered quietly, still stroking her fingers over the swell of her stomach. “I am never going to leave you. Over my dead body is anyone or anything ever going to separate us.”

She had always sworn herself that if she ever had a child, that child would be her priority no matter what. Nothing would ever be more important than her baby. And she would never do to her child what her dad had done to her.

From the moment she had learned that she was pregnant she had known that this baby was her first priority from now on. Nothing was more important than the little life growing inside of her. She would grow up knowing that she was so loved. So, so, so loved.

“I love you, you know that?” Felicity whispered, continuing to stroke her hand over the bump gently. “I love you so much.”

“She doesn’t seem to thank you much for it.”

Flinching, Felicity turned around, pressing a hand to her chest in a weak attempt to stop her wildly beating heart. She hadn’t heard him because she had been too deep into his thoughts, but she probably wouldn’t have heard him even if she hadn’t been distracted. He just moved so quietly all the time!

“Sorry,” Oliver said with a loving smile, approaching her and kissing her lips shortly, “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

He sat down on the couch next to her, resting his arm on the backrest behind Felicity’s neck while leaning forward until his lips almost made contact with the bump that was only covered by one of his dress shirts.

“Hi, baby,” he whispered and moved his free hand to put it on her bump, following their daughter’s kicking movements like Felicity had done before. He pressed a kiss to the rounded belly and then leaned back again a little, so he could continue to speak. “You do know how much mommy and I love you, right? We’ve told you so often already.”

Felicity watched Oliver closely. His eyes showed so much love and so much joy while he was talking to the bump. His gaze was focused on where he knew their baby was growing like he could actually see their daughter through his dress shirt and Felicity’s skin. He loved talking to the baby. He had done it from the day they had found out she was pregnant, even when the baby’s hearing hadn’t been developed yet. He always said that he wanted the baby to know his voice, so she would know that she was safe whenever she heard him speak.

The words still made his stomach tingle.

“And you know that no matter what you do, we will never stop loving you, but I think it would be nice if you could try to give mommy a little bit back for her love and let her sleep. See, she had a busy week, and she is carrying you around all the time to make sure you’re alright, so she needs the rest, and she can’t sleep when you keep her awake. Once you are born, you can be awake all night because daddy will be there to hold you and comfort you. But as long as you are in mommy’s tummy please try to consider your mommy’s wellbeing, okay?”

And just like that she stopped kicking. Oliver moved his hands over the bump a little bit more, making sure that their daughter really didn’t move anymore for the moment and then leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the round stomach.

“Thank you, sweetie.”

_And no, he'll never walk away_  
_He'll never break her heart_  
_He'll take care of things_  
_He'll love her_

_Piece by piece, he restored my faith_  
_That a man can be kind and a father should be great_

Oliver straightened up and leaned back against the cushions of the couch, still keeping his hand on Felicity’s bump to make sure he knew when their daughter would decide that she had enough of holding still and keep maltreating Felicity’s insides again.

“You’re gonna be a great dad, you know that?” Felicity whispered, putting her hand to his cheek and moving her fingertips through his stubble like she knew he loved.

“I hope I will,” Oliver answered.

Felicity shook her head. “You don’t have to hope. I know you will.”

“Well, let’s hope our little darling will let herself calm down as easily when she is born as she is right now,” Oliver replied with a smile, moving his fingers on the bump a little. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice you leaving the bed before. I think setting up the nursery was much more exhausting than I thought it would be.”

“No reason to apologize.” Felicity rested her hand on top of his on the bump and leaned her head back against his forearm. “And to be fair it wasn’t her who kept me awake. Actually I think it was the other way around and all my thoughts woke her up.”

Oliver’s facial expression darkened slightly. A frown formed on his forehead, and he eyed up her face worriedly before he asked, “Everything alright?”

Leaning forward, Felicity pressed kiss to Oliver’s lips. She rested her forehead against his, lingering close to him, so she could feel his breath ghosting over her face. She took in a deep breath, breathing him in. She loved the smell of his skin. It made her feel safe, so safe.

“Felicity?” he whispered worriedly.

Sighing lowly, Felicity leaned back a little and shook her head.

“It’s stupid,” she replied with a shake of her head and a quiet, sad sounding chuckle.

“Hey,” Oliver said, putting a hand under her chin to make her look at him when she lowered her face to avoid his gaze. He waited until their eyes locked before he continued, “Nothing you can say, do or feel could ever be stupid to me. Tell me what is keeping you awake, and we try to find a solution together, okay?”

When his hand moved to her cheek, Felicity leaned into his touch and closed her eyes for a short moment. Oliver was a great husband. And he would be a great father. No man had ever made her feel more appreciated, more loved, more perfect than he was making her feel every single day without even trying. She couldn’t have found anyone better to be her husband and her child’s father.

“I was thinking about all the great men in my life,” Felicity said with a sigh, opening her eyes to look at Oliver.

“‘All the great men’?” he asked with played anger. “Who do I have to kill?”

Felicity smiled, but it didn’t really reach her eyes. So Oliver moved his thumb over her cheekbone and looked at her patiently, waiting for her to speak without urging her to do anything she wasn’t ready for yet.

“Since I am pregnant, I thought a lot about my childhood and about my dad,” she admitted with a low sigh. “I always swore myself that if I ever have a child, it could only be with someone who I could fully trust to not hurt my child. And there are only few men in my life that I really trust, and…”

She sucked in a deep breath, feelings tears springing into her eyes when she turned her head to press a kiss to the palm of his hand. When she snuggled her cheek back into his touch, she looked at Oliver again, seeing him looking back at her with held breath and eyes full of worry.

“And I just realized that I trust you more than I ever thought I could trust anyone, especially a man, and… I just now that I trust you with our daughter’s life and heart because I know you would never hurt her or leave her or-“

When a sob escaped her lips, Oliver hastily pulled Felicity into his arms and cradled her against his chest, stroking his hands up and down her back comfortingly and letting her cry on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, hon,” he whispered, knowing exactly what was going on with her because he just knew her that well. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not leaving either of you.”

“I know,” Felicity sobbed against his shoulder. Hastily she took in a sniffling breath and leaned back enough, so she could look at him. “I am just so happy that I have you. That we have you.”

Oliver looked at her for a long moment. His intensely blue eyes made her skin prickle and her heart flutter. He rubbed his right hand over her back comfortingly and followed the now again kicking movements of their daughter with his left hand. Patiently he waited if she wanted to say anything else and only when she didn’t, he whispered, “I love you.”

Smiling, Felicity rested her forehead back against his. “I love you, too.”

Their lips meant in a long, gentle kiss  
A kiss that made Felicity know that Oliver loved her and their daughter.  
A kiss that made Felicity know that he would never willingly leave either of them.  
A kiss that made Felicity know that the both of them, she herself and their baby, were irreplaceable to him because they owned a spot in his heart that he never could nor ever would want to give to anybody else.  
A kiss that made Felicity know that no matter how many times she would still think about her father and how he had damaged her by leaving, the number of times she would think about all the great men in her life but especially Oliver would beat the number of times she would think about her father by far.

Because she was loved.  
And she wouldn’t be left.  
Because she was irreplaceable.

And so was their daughter even though she wasn’t born yet.

_Piece by piece..._  
_Piece by piece..._  
_Piece by piece..._


End file.
